Most of us never took this test or we might have thought differently about
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE READY FOR
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains.
Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave
it there all summer.
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (If Legos are
available, you may substitute roofing tacks).
Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put
on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do
not scream (This could wake a child at night).
GROCERY STORE TEST:
Borrow one or two small animals (goats
are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and
pay for anything they eat or damage.
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that
all arms stay inside.
Obtain a large plastic milk jug.
Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling
with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls
of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the
mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane.
Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak
it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the
bag until 9:00 p.m.
Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00
p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you
have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing
these too until 4:00 a.m. Set
alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make
breakfast. Keep this up
for five years. Look cheerful.
PREGNANCY TEST: Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave
it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
PHYSICAL TEST (MEN):
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help
himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the
head office and arrange for your pay check to be directly deposited
to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read
it quietly for the last time.
FINAL EXAM ASSIGNMENT:
Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how
they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's
manners. Suggest many ways they can
improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children
to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the
last time you will have
all the answers.