IT HAPPENED IN SCHOOL ......
              experiences in education


 

Home
Teachers
Sub-Teachers
Administrators
Paraprofessionals
Bus Drivers
Custodians
Parents
Students

Stories/Anecdotes

Personal Interest
E-Mail Me

 

 

Most of us never took this test or we might have thought differently about having children.

 
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE READY FOR CHILDREN:


MESS TEST:
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains.
Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST:
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks).   Have a friend spread them all over the house.  Put on a blindfold.  Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen.  Do not scream (This could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST
:
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store.  Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST
:
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST
:
Obtain a large plastic milk jug.  Fill halfway with water.  Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord.  Start the jug swinging.  Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane.  Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand.   Soak it thoroughly in water.   At 8:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m.
Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m.  Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up  about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m.  Get up and make breakfast.  Keep this up for five years.  Look cheerful.

PREGNANCY TEST:
Obtain a large bean bag chair and
attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (MEN):
  Go to the nearest drug store. Set your
wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your pay check to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL EXAM ASSIGNMENT:
  Find a couple who already has a small child.  Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline,
patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's table
manners.  Suggest many ways they can improve.  Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience.  It will be the last time you will have
all the answers.

 

Looking for helpful teacher  materials?
Teacher Created Materials
Click here

HUMOR
*The Unexpected
*Being the Principal?
*Out of the Mouths
*Bus Humor

*I Give Up

 
DISAPPOINTMENT
*How They Feel
 

 YOUR HEART AND SOUL
 *i am alive
 
*Creation of a Teacher
*Thanks Secretary

*My Rainbow
 
THOUGHTS FOR PARENTS
*My Wish For You
*Mean Mothers
*The Angels Name
*For All Moms
 *Ready for Children
*My Son
*
Special Moms
*As We Age

 
 WE NEVER FORGET
*The First Year 
*Paying to Care
*
I Am Your Student
*Powerful Stuff
*Student Teacher

 
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT
*Evaluating Teachers
 *
No Taunt Pledge
*School Prayer
*Death of Common  Sense

 
 DISCOURAGED?
*Wish List
*A Reason

 
 FOR STUDENTS
*Not in School
 *Letter to a Teen
 *Friends
 *Mean Teachers
 *
5 Question Quiz